Confession

“Crazy runs in the family,” I confess to Erik, “You haven’t met everyone, yet,” I offer a timid smile, “My mom and my aunt both had dreams about bears when they were pregnant.” I laugh at the absurdity of it all.


“Sounds like a family totem to me,” Erik replies in a rather nonchalant manner as he turns back to the computer and starts keying terms into Google. “Look, you have to take all of this shit online with a grain of salt, but you get the basic idea.”


He pulls up a quote by Susie Green, “Bear prepares for the birth of her cubs by building up reserves of nourishing fat, but unless conditions are perfect she will not give birth to her fleshy creations — for Bear knows that timing and preparation are all.”


“I don’t really know as much about all of this as my grandmother, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe.” Erik looked up at James who appeared a bit stunned, “It’s kind of like being a lapsed Catholic,” Erik admits.


“Really?” Alex is not happy with Erik’s support of a paranormal explanation, “Whatever it is, we’re here for you. You’re not alone.”


“No, Alex. I am alone. You might be here, but you are not seeing it. You are not experiencing it. You and I will never be united against . . . whatever this is. Whatever it is, I am alone.”


No one said anything.


“I’m afraid to leave this room,” I finally admit, “because no where is safe. I could see it anywhere, everywhere.”


“Have you tried talking to it?” Erik asks.


I laugh at the absurdity of his question.


“No, I’m serious. If it’s a family totem, it’s here to communicate with you, to show you something.”


“Like the fox in my dreams?”

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